Wait, before you say you know the answer, hear me out =)

Those that have read this blog or know me in person know a few of the things that bother me with the World at large. They know how vocal [or not] I am about certain things. But my doubts lie in whether all of my ‘activism’  will eventually lead to paranoia. Will I be a grumpy old man still annoyed about the state of the world, how kids are turning up and how the government, as an institution, seems to have stopped considering the people it is meant to serve as its primary concern? Is it, actually, that way?

To doubt oneself is natural and, generally, positive. I know I only have one side of the story, and maybe a poorly informed one at that. I can see arguments made for the way governments run their business and how it is, ultimately, a good thing they do it that way. I may be able to refute those arguments - but what if that’s only going on in my mind? What if I have become the victim of my convictions and, as much as I may fight others to quit theirs, I cannot escape my own?

Before you engage in any kind of fight you should feel fairly confident that you are not mistaken in your assumptions and/or beliefs. My ’social concerns’ do stem from what would be, basically, a form of selfishness. In that, I do not kid myself; but I can see some positive by-product of my struggle and as such believe I am right in doing what I am doing. Would I still do it if it were clear to me I am mistaken? Would I align myself with those that I fight against and believe I may be able to show people the right way even though they, themselves, are unable at this juncture to see it for themselves? Does that path actually satisfy their needs or is it a way to rebel against a system for fear of otherwise being irrelevant?

I was talking about a balance of powers a while ago. Hacker versus authority, artist versus idiot etc. Does that balance keep us in a state of limbo, when we could actually be heading for something better if we just let go of our fears?

I do not know enough about Che Guevara, that pop-icon adorning so many tee shirts. My limited knowledge does grant him the credit of acting upon something that he strongly believed in. His methods may be questionable, but this is a topic for another night. Yet belief is not enough. We have the crusades, the jihad and countless other religious struggles that caused tremendous bloodbaths as a consequence of such strong and blind beliefs, yet most of us can agree a principle of happiness is the sense of security and content that peace gives us. To this, feel free to add in the equation the fact that these beliefs are hard to verify even to whatever the satisfactory level for bloodshed might be for you.

So I fight to live better and, in a more or less direct way, to have others live better. As I grow older and leave the fights to others, will I keep thinking that most of those that should guard us are, in fact, cheating us into submission? At what point do I become a conspiracy theorist, at what stage does one cross over from skeptical to paranoiac?

And what do you do then?